In the end, with a therapist and finding a support group has helped them through the difficult breakups. “Nothing is universal,” they say. “Now, knowing my own attachment style, I’ve discovered that I like being friends with most exes. With that said, I also am realizing that I have this inherent need to have people like me, and I think that’s connected. I do think there’s something noble about being able to self-soothe, be self-reliant, and cut off contact with an ex — I think it’s very impressive. But it’s not for me right now. Maybe someday. There is still this element of pining for someone’s approval and also wanting to be seen as ‘cool’ in my community. I think part of it may be an attachment problem for me, thinking about it, but it’s where I’m at right now, and I think that’s okay.”
